Between trust and doubt

TL: Furby

ED: DannY

The night of the day I met with Touko-senpai 

I called Karen by phone.

Since the very first day we started going out, Karen told me it was only natural for me as a boyfriend to call her every day. Because of that, I called her every night on her phone. However, as you could imagine, I just couldn’t bring myself to call her yesterday.

At the start, Karen asked things like why I went back home by myself or why I didn’t call her the day before. It was as if she were investigating my actions.

I explained to her that a friend from my hometown had been involved in a car accident and had made an emergency call to me, which led to me running around like crazy all night long. Fortunately, she appeared to have been convinced.

I continued to intently apologize over and over to Karen and managed to make a promise with her to meet the next day.

And today, on the way back from the university. I was now together with Karen in a family restaurant.

Truthfully speaking, even looking at Karen’s face is hard. Had it been possible, I would’ve preferred not to see her for a few days. However, Touko-senpai had already admonished me by saying:

“Changing the routines you’ve had all this time is a definitive no. You’ll have to act as if you didn’t know anything and continue as per normal.”

Until then, Karen and I had spent every day that our classes finished early together.

If I were to stop that from happening out of the blue, Karen would start to feel suspicious about it.

That is something that I cannot allow her to do. As such, enduring all the pain it brings me, I met with Karen.

However, something about Karen today gave me the impression she was dissatisfied.

We left school and headed straight to the game center together, and then we came to this family restaurant. Yet all throughout I had that feeling from her. She appeared to be in a bad mood and almost didn’t speak at all, only looking at her smartphone.

As if being together with me wasn’t fun at all. That was the sort of attitude she was openly showing.

… I guess she really is dissatisfied with me…

Despite having those feelings inside of me, I stifled them and spoke to Karen.

“Karen, is something wrong?”

“Not really…”

With those 2 words, Karen put on an even sourer face, and she looked out the window.

But her way of answering spoke clearly of her displeasure.

“You say, ‘not really’, but haven’t you been unhappy the whole day today? I want you to tell me if something’s wrong.”

To that, Karen angrily used her straw to shake the iced tea placed before her in circles. Without even turning to look me in the eyes, she muttered under her breath.

 “This is why insensitive guys are! Their mere existence is a crime…”

“Eh?”

I reflexively asked back, to which Karen sent an angry stare at me.

“Say, Yuu-kun, haven’t you gotten kind of careless lately?”

“Careless?”

Not understanding her, I parroted her words.

“Yeah. The dates with Yuu-kun have gotten kind of predictable. It’s mostly meeting up in a coffee shop, then going to a game center or karaoke, followed by eating in a family restaurant. It’s always the same! And aren’t they all Yuu-kun’s hobbies!? Karen wants something more exciting.”

“Maybe but, we’re still students, so isn’t that normal? We can’t go to places that cost too much, right?”

My counter argument seemed to piss off Karen even more as she stared daggers at me.

“That’s not true! Other people are having chic-er dates! And even with that, shouldn’t boyfriends think more about how to please their girlfriends?!”

{ED/N: Furby I feel for you}

… Just who are you comparing me to…?

I put all my strength into stopping the impulse to say those words

However, Karen took my silence as meaning another thing.

“If it’s like this, then Karen isn’t feeling treasured! You can’t call a date a simple meeting between two people!”

She spoke as if venting all her dissatisfaction.

I was fed up.

When we started going out, Karen wasn’t like this.

We spent many happy hours simply talking about the two of us, even in family restaurants or fast-food stores.

And that was all only some short 3 months ago.

“But didn’t you enjoy it before? You even said, ‘the time the two of us spend together is precious’.”

Hearing that, Karen snapped and retorted.

“That’s from back when we had only started going out! But it’s always the same with Yuu-kun! There’s no other boyfriend who plans dates so halfheartedly! And if Yuu-kun truly cherished his time with Karen, he would be thinking more about the time when the two of them meet!”

Karen was glaring at me with rage in her eyes. I let out a short sigh.

“Got it, got it. If you feel like that, Karen, I apologize. This was my fault. I’ll make a reservation at some tasty restaurant next time. Is there something you’d like to request?”

Pouting, Karen glanced over at me.

“Karen’d prefer Yuu-kun didn’t ask for that and pleasantly surprised me. Minus points for being at a level where you’d have to ask your girlfriend.”

I wanted to finish this conversation already.

Not to mention that for me, looking at Karen’s present face was tormenting.

The more I saw that face of Karen, the more I had this sense of ‘doubt of her having cheated on me’ growing stronger inside of me.

At that moment, a single thought crossed my mind.

“You’re right. It’s just as you said, Karen. But we need to decide beforehand the day and hour to make the reservation. How’s this next Thursday for you? We could go after school ended, maybe?”

The moment I said the word ‘Thursday’, for only an instant, Karen averted her eyes.

I did not let that escape my notice.

“Thursday’s no good. Karen got herself a part-time job, so make it another day.”

At the same time she looked away from me, Karen rejected the plan curtly.

But I could feel from Karen’s behavior that she was hiding something.

… So Mondays and Thursdays really are the days Karen and Kamokura meet, huh…?

The sensation of doubt swelled ever more inside of me.

Next week’s Monday I headed for a family restaurant located on one side of the road and somewhat separated from the university. 

It was to meet with Touko-senpai. Judging by the SNS messages, she had already arrived there.

I looked around the interior of the shop and saw her seating in one of the booths.

Today, Touko-senpai was wearing a white, light three-quarter-length coat and a flower-patterned blouse, together with a long black pencil skirt. Her skirt had a long slit on the side, which let her bare luscious thigh peek every now and then.

{TL/N: I’m learning a lot about female clothing from this}

She sat with her slender legs crossed, silently reading a pocket book.

That intellectual appearance and her graceful form altogether gave off a bewitching aura. 

And yet you also got the impression that you mustn’t get closer, much less touch, carefreely that figure.

I could feel the same yearning I felt every time I caught sight of her back in our high school days come back to life inside my chest.

Touko-senpai suddenly closed her book and lifted her gaze.

Our eyes met, and she smiled sweetly.

In order to not let anyone know that I had been captivated by Touko-senpai, I hurriedly headed for the booth.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

I spoke slightly awkwardly, and she answered with a gentle smile.

“It’s okay. It’s because my classes ended slightly earlier today. You’re hungry, right? Want to order something?”

Touko-senpai handed me a menu as she said that.

I ordered a chicken steak and a drink with unlimited refill while she added a doria to the order.

After the waitress took our order, I brought up the topic of conversation.

“Karen said that she had some business today too. How about Kamokura-senpai?”

Touko-senpai answered with a downcast gaze.

“Same, Tetsuya too said that he had something to do tonight. That’s also why I can meet with you like this.”

“Just as we imagined, huh…”

I spoke in a groaning low voice. I had already surmised it, but I still felt the ache spreading across my chest.

With this, assuming both of them are cheating together, they’d have met consecutively on Monday and Thursday from last week.

Taking into account that Karen and I meet around twice or thrice per week, it’s a very frequent occurrence.

“But we still haven’t determined that the two of them are seeing each other…”

Even that line from Touko-senpai got on my nerves. 

Touko-senpai was consoling me, or maybe she was trying to convince herself of it, but I couldn’t help taking it as her covering for them.

I decided to change the topic.

“Karen, she appears to have lost all interest in me as of late.”

“Did something happen?”

Touko-senpai inquired in a worried tone.

“It’s not that anything specific happened, it’s just that… She told me that our dates together had gotten predictable, that they were boring.”

Touko-senpai frowned, but soon after, she spoke.

“That may not have anything to do with her cheating or not… Those kinds of things can happen in any relationship. You shouldn’t think too much about it.”

“Is that so? But Karen said that other people had chic-er dates.”

Touko-senpai’s expression clouded even more.

“I found myself thinking, ‘just who is she comparing me to?’”

“…”

“I can’t even stand looking at Karen now. Despite thinking to myself, ‘try believing in Karen’, I always end up having that message come back to my mind…”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I did my utmost to hold them back.

She let out one long sigh.

“It would seem simple words like ‘don’t worry’ won’t work, huh? Well, normally, in this kind of situation doing things like ‘simply trusting’ is difficult.” 

Touko-senpai propped her elbows on the table, put her hands together, and laid her chin on them.

“At those times, try remembering ‘the time you first started going out’.”

“The time we first started going out?”

“Yeah. If it’s okay with you, Isshiki-kun, how about you tell me what it was that made you and Karen start dating? Perhaps you’ll even recover a bit of those feelings you had towards Karen-san by doing so.”

“Uh Uhhhh…”

With a question mark floating over my head, I gave a half-hearted reply.

“When did you two first start dating?”

“It was during the celebration of having finished the midterms. We went in a group, if I remember correctly.”

“You mean that one? The reunion for those who had finished their exams?”

“Yes. Touko-senpai didn’t attend it, right?”

“Yeah, since I still had some exams left. I see, so it was from that moment that you guys started dating.”

“Yes.”

“But, there must have been some special occasion which led to you two starting to hang out, right? When did you first get interested in her, Isshiki-kun?”

“I guess it was during the Golden Week. You remember how our group had that camping party for freshmen?”

After speaking that far, I glanced over at Touko-senpai.

She merely looked at me with a kind smile. However, that kindness was nothing more than the one you show to your kouhai. 

I heaved a sigh in my heart. She probably hasn’t noticed anything yet.

Truth be told, Touko-senpai had played a big role in leading us to the present situation.

Ishida and I had been attracted to her since our high school days.

When we passed our entrance exams into Jouto University, we made a secret plan the two of us to confess to Touko-senpai in an all-or-nothing venture.

Then, on the day of the entrance ceremony, there was a long line that went from the venue of the ceremony to the school’s main gate of people trying to recruit the freshmen into their groups and clubs. We both accepted the flyers of the many clubs as we continued to look for Touko-senpai.

Soon enough, we found a small crowd of people in one corner. It was in the area where Touko-senpai was handing out flyers. Not doubting it for a second, we accepted her flyers.

The name of the group was ‘Wakiaiai’. Apparently, it’s a group that was started originally by a graduate student from our high school. At the beginning, it was a group that only did trekking or camping, but nowadays it had expanded to any and all sort of events. Because of the plethora of resources like previous test questions or information on easy courses that give credits, most of the graduates from Kaihimmakuhari High end up joining this group.

(TL note: ‘wakiaiai’ 「和気藹々」is a word that means having a lively, nice, fun time together as a group)

In that group too was a senpai two years above me, Kamokura Tetsuya.

It was during the camping’s first night that we heard the shocking revelation from another senpai two years ahead of us.

That Touko-senpai had started dating Kamokura Tetsuya.

Even back during his high school days, Kamokura Tetsuya had been a cheery good-looking guy who could make all girls scream in excitement. He was good at studying and excelled in sports; he was the vice-president of the soccer club and its striker. His height is 180cm. Having excellent grades and a slightly wild air to him, be it in class, the club, or even the group, he is constantly the central figure of the highest social class in school.

{ED/N: Oh he’s 4 centimetres taller than me huh. I’ll catch up in an year}

There’s no way he wouldn’t be popular. And so, we didn’t have the slightest chance against him.

Though the senpai who told us that Touko-senpai and Kamokura Tetsuya had started dating was lamenting a lot himself, it didn’t compare to how devastated we both were. That night, Ishida and I drowned our sorrows in alcohol (not really alcohol, since we were underage).

Nonetheless, even at that time, it was Ishida who managed to recover the fastest of us both.

“Let’s hurry up and forget about Touko-senpai so that we may find ourselves a girlfriend and we can begin to enjoy our life as university students already!”

I stared at Ishida, who was tightly clenching his glass as he stood up, with exasperation.

“As if we’d find ourselves a girlfriend that fast. Do you even have someone in mind for us?”

At that, Ishida turned to look back at me, this time with shock in his eyes.

“You have one, Yuu. A girl who would probably accept you even now.”

“Huh? Who’re you talking about? There’s a girl like that?”

“You haven’t noticed?”

With a plop, Ishida sat down once again on top of the tatami floor.

“The first year from the literature club, Mitsumoto Karen. That girl who’s usually smiling and has this soothing aura about her. I thought she was looking at you a lot since the freshmen’s drinking party we had, but after coming to this camp, I’m certain of it now.”

… That slightly petite girl with semi-long hair…?

I thought back to Karen’s figure as she happily spoke with various boys.

“That girl… She seemed a bit licentious, but she also appeared to be very popular. If you don’t hurry it up, she might get taken up by someone else.”

Unlike what you may think, I did not act encouraged by Ishida’s words. However, I did get more interested in Karen from the next day. True enough, just as Ishida had said, I found myself meeting Mitsumoto Karen’s eyes more than once. Each of those times, she gave me a happy smile…

Remembering the events of that time, I spoke.

“During the camping event, Karen’s eyes and mine kind of met a few times… And that led to us talking more between us.”

“Who was the first to start the conversation?”

“If I remember correctly, it was Karen. She said to me during the camp, ‘Our eyes sure are meeting a lot’. After that, when we all got together, there were many times we got seated close to each other, and so we naturally started to talk more to each other.”

“So, this means that Karen-san was the one who first made a move on you.”

Touko-senpai said in a slightly amused tone.

“I’m not sure about that…. But I did find myself thinking, ‘What a cheerful and cute girl’.”

I felt like Touko-senpai’s expression changed faintly the moment I said that.

“You’re right, Karen-san is cute indeed. That woman-like cuteness is very important. It makes one remember the old saying, ‘women are judged by their charm’.”

(TL note: Full saying is ‘Men are judged by their courage, women by their charm’ 男は度胸、女は愛嬌)

What was then reflected in Touko-senpai’s eyes… seemed to me to have been ‘loneliness’.

“Tou…”

As if to cut me off from saying, ‘Touko-senpai is very charming too’, she changed the topic of the conversation.

“Even I can see that Tetsuya too has some undeniable points worthy of distrusting. I can’t go as far as asserting he’s cheating, but it’s highly probable that Tetsuya’s doing something behind my back.”

For a moment, I was at a loss for words at the sudden change in topic.

“I even want to declare him guilty just from those many points alone.”

I nodded. She’s right, that’s the most important thing at this moment.

“Concretely, what are we going to do? Do we tail the two of them?”

If Karen and Kamokura are going to meet, it’ll be on Mondays or Thursdays. Knowing that, all that’s left is to tail them and hence gain something from it.

“Tailing is no good. The difficulty of it is very high.”

“Is that so?”

I believe it’s nothing more than to follow someone from behind, while leaving some distance between them and us so as not to be noticed.

“People who are about to have a love affair will most certainly be watchful of their surroundings. Are you confident enough to be able to hide yourself the instant that they suddenly turn around? After all, if you make any unnatural or hasty movements, that’ll give you away to them.”

That is actually very true. If you were to hide behind something so abruptly, that in itself would make you stand out.

“It’s not something an amateur could successfully accomplish. Even the police and detectives form teams of multiple people and take turns as they follow their target. Moreover, women are more sensitive to their surroundings than men. If by any chance there’s an intense gaze directed at a woman, they will most likely notice it. Make that a stare from someone they know, and it won’t be an exaggeration to say that they’ll discover them 100 times out of a 100.”

“Are you serious? I was already thinking that tailing them was our only choice now, but is that even impossible then?”

Drooping my shoulders, I put both my arms on the table as I hung my head. 

“If it’s like this, I’ll bet even if we celebrate Karen’s birthday, it won’t be fun in the least. As for Karen, she’ll be all cranky with me, while in my case, I’ll be full of distrust…”

“Karen’s birthday is close? When?”

“This week’s Saturday. I already have a present ready but, with how Karen said she ‘wants a chicer date’, I thought to make a reservation at some high-class restaurant.”

“This week’s Saturday?”

In what was quite a rare occurrence, Touko-senpai spoke in a relatively loud voice.

Surprised, I lifted my face and in doing so, I saw her with her arms crossed and her right fist touching her chin, pondering.

“Is something the matter?”

In response to my inquiry, Touko-senpai spoke as she continued to think.

“Perhaps, we may be able to find out something on that day…”

“Eh?”

As I awaited her next words, she lifted her face.

“Isshiki-kun, you obviously have a promise with her to meet on that day, right?”

“Yes, that’s how it is.”

“Have you decided on the time yet?”

“Nothing specific yet. But maybe something ranging from noon till dusk?”

Hearing that, Touko-senpai nodded.

“On that day, Tetsuya’s older brother has a business trip, so he won’t be in the apartment. Hence Tetsuya has been very insistently telling me to go and stay the night.”

Saying that, Touko-senpai peered over into my eyes.

“If I were to turn down his invitation… Assuming both of them are cheating on us, don’t you think Tetsuya will call Karen-san over?”

I felt a chill run down my spine, all the way to my toes.

That’s right, assuming both of them are cheating together, there’s no way they’ll let that chance slip away.

My eyes now shone with resolution in them. With a look in hers similar in spirit to mine, Touko-senpai looked at me as she answered.

“The night of next Saturday. Let’s bet it all on that day.”

With reciprocated determination that we kept concealed, we both nodded to each other.