[Shiho Shimotsuki’s Perspective]
“If… if it’s okay with you, Shiho… I would be happy if you would go out with me.”
“Because I really love you, Shiho.”
He confessed.
Come to think of it, this was the first time someone had clearly said to her, “I want to go out with you.”
(――I love you too!)
Without even pausing to catch her breath, she almost reflexively tried to reply like that.
It was almost a reflexive reaction.
“…Mm!”
But just before that, she choked on her breath, thankfully managing to stop herself from saying anything.
(Wait, wait a moment! Shiho-chan, calm down… Yes, I understand. I know you really want to say ‘I love you’ and jump into it right away. But maybe if you stay like this… you won’t be able to hold back and who knows what you might do, so calm down.)
She told herself in her mind to control herself.
Despite trying to restrain herself with reason, her emotions were exploding. She was so eager to touch Kotaro that it was becoming troublesome.
If things continued like this, Shiho herself didn’t know what she might do.
(I don’t want to love in a way that causes trouble for Kotaro.)
For example, it might be too heavy with love and end up suffocating him.
Or she might demand too much from Kotaro.
Or she might even express affection so intense that it would push him away.
She was wary of the “yandere” Shiho lurking deep in her heart.
It wasn’t entirely wrong for Azusa to describe her as “weak”.
Shiho was afraid of who she might become in the depths of this love. Because of that fear, she hadn’t been able to progress the relationship easily, and had ended up maintaining their current lukewarm but comfortable relationship.
“……..Phew.”
She took a breath, and then slowly inhaled.
Taking a deep breath, she began to feel calmer than before.
“Sorry for springing it on you like that. Did I startle you?”
Kotaro seemed to understand that Shiho was flustered.
He wasn’t rushing her, instead waiting patiently. Shiho could sense that consideration, and her “I love you meter” for him soared even higher.
(I love that about him too.)
His truly wonderful personality filled Shiho’s heart to the brim.
For her, he was more than just an ideal partner.
That’s why she was so timid, afraid of making mistakes.
“Um, it’s a bit early… I almost felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I even felt like I might put a collar on Kotaro and take him home.”
“You suddenly looked around so suspiciously, I thought something was weird… Were you looking for a collar?”
It was an unconscious action.
Overflowing with love, she almost wanted to take him home, but Shiho managed to hold back.
“First of all, I love you too… No, I love you so much that even a hundred trillion times isn’t enough to express it.”
“Whether a hundred trillion is the right unit is debatable, but I understand your feelings.”
Her affection was clearly getting through.
He didn’t doubt that, so Shiho felt relieved and could continue talking.
“So, it’s not that I’m not happy. If I let myself go on impulse, I’d be so happy that I’d want to mess you up.”
“What do you mean by ‘mess you up’?”
“I’m scared because I don’t know what that would look like.”
While holding her flushed face, Shiho murmured.
“I love Kotaro-kun so much that I’m worried if we start dating, I might explode.”
The reason their relationship wasn’t progressing wasn’t just because of Kotaro.
It was also because Shiho had various things weighing on her.
