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I Became the Empress’s Personal Guard Chapter 121

Apology and Forgiveness (2)

The Divine Kings presented me with three trials.

 

The first was time.
The second was a name.
The third was a secret.

 

It took three years for my resurrection.
I was tasked to find the name.
And I was ordered to hide that mission from her.

 

I never tried to understand the meaning of the trials.
I simply struggled to find the name as quickly as possible.
I thought it was the Divine Kings’ way of showing compassion to save me.

 

But was that really the case?
Now, I can’t help but wonder.

 

And now that I’ve resolved to risk everything,
the storm clouds in my mind have cleared.

 

“Why don’t you answer me?”

 

She turned around and looked at me.
Her golden eyes, devoid of light, carried an emotion I couldn’t recognize three years ago.

 

“…Very well. This isn’t a request; it’s an order.”

 

Expectation, hope, anxiety, and a touch of disappointment.

 

I felt sorry.

 

You still have hope in me, don’t you?

Even after all my pushing you away, even after all this time.

You still care for me deeply.

 

Epherna briefly gazed at me, hiding a trace of emotion in her eyes, before briskly walking past me.
I couldn’t leave her like that.

Without hesitation, I grabbed her arm.
Startled, she instinctively turned back to face me.

 

“How have you been?”

 

*****

 

That was a funny first line.

Unless you’re a retard who can’t read the mood, you wouldn’t say that in this atmosphere.

Her expression seemed to show her surprise, as if she had the same thoughts.

Enough with the joke, I changed my expression.

 

I had something I wanted to say.

It was something that had been on my lips ever since I heard a harsh remark from Colton, a fellow dragon.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

 

***

 

It was a ridiculous opening line.

Anyone with half a sense of the situation wouldn’t say something so out of place.
Judging by her expression, she thought the same, unable to hide her surprise.

I decided to drop the playful tone and change my demeanor.

 

There was something I had been meaning to say.

Words that had lingered at the edge of my lips ever since Colton, another member of the Dragonkin, scolded me.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“…”
“For dying without a word. For lying to you.”

 

There was a promise I had once made to her.
At the Katia Duchy, to gain entry into the Plains.
I had lied to her.

It was on that day, after our first argument, that she used her wish— never to be lied to by me again.

But I had broken that promise.

 

I had betrayed her trust.
And for that, I apologized.

 

“I died once and was brought back to life by the Divine Kings.”

 

It was a trial to find my name.
Not telling her about the trials was one of the conditions of the test.

That’s why I couldn’t come to her immediately.
But now, I told her everything without hesitation.

 

“I won’t lie anymore.”

 

And with that, I had failed the trial.
My life now hung by a thread.

But so what?

 

To her, I had been a wound—
A wound caused by my lack of trust.
A wound caused by my failure to win her heart.

 

I gave her everything.

 

“You want me to belong to you? Don’t you think the punishment is too light?”

 

I was already yours.

 

I pulled her arm, and the difference in strength between us was such that her body came to me without resistance.

I placed my other hand on her waist.

 

The way we stood looked almost like a dance.

 

Was she still reeling from the shock?
I didn’t like the lack of clarity in her reaction.

 

“Three years ago, here, I confessed to you, didn’t I?”

 

The coming-of-age ceremony. It was April 7th, to be exact.

 

On that day, Epherna had expressed her feelings to me as a woman.

And I had cruelly rejected her.

I lied.

I hurt her heart.

 

I cannot erase those scars.
The heart, unlike the body, is fragile.
Once wounded, no matter how much one tries to heal it, a scar always remains.

 

The scars I caused.
So, I will take responsibility for them.

 

“From now on, I’ll be the one holding on.”

 

*****

 

I still remember the first time I danced with him.

I was just a little girl of fifteen back then.
It was right before my first banquet.

We spent countless nights practicing together,
and those moments became one of my happiest memories.

 

Which is why the pain left behind was all the greater.
The deeper the memory, the deeper the wound.

 

“And now…”
“It’s late, I know.”

 

Too late. Far too late.

 

The time I had spent trying to forget him seemed wasted, and instead of joy, her chest simmered with anger.

 

“I’m sorry for that too.”

 

His apology stoked the fire in her heart instead of calming it.
Because it didn’t feel insincere—quite the opposite.

 

The whirlwind of unresolved emotions was relentless.
She clenched her teeth so hard it interfered with her composure.

 

She didn’t know what words to say.
So, she danced.

And as they danced, she wrestled with her thoughts.
Minutes passed before the dance came to an end.

 

“I can’t… forgive you…”

 

Should I just forgive him?
Would it be easier if I did?

He’s back now; isn’t that enough?

She had thought about it, of course.
But she couldn’t do it.

 

“You don’t know what it’s been like for me… how I’ve lived…”

 

She had truly believed he was dead.
She wasn’t one to believe in miracles like resurrection.
She had braced herself for a lifetime of never seeing him again.

 

What hurt most, however, was that their last moments had been steeped in lies.
He never let her close, never trusted her—not her heart, not even her loyalty.

 

She didn’t blame him for not reciprocating her feelings.
If she wasn’t trustworthy, it was her failing, not his.

She could hate herself for that, but not him.

 

But his betrayal lay in breaking her trust.
Telling her he didn’t see her as a woman, asking her not to stand before him as one, yet leaving traces of ambiguity in his actions.

Those remnants still lingered, even three years later, on her lips.

 

“…Even if you didn’t love me, if that was all it was, I wouldn’t be angry at you for dying for my sake.”

“But you never showed me your heart. Not until the end. Not even as you died.”

“And now you ask for forgiveness…?”

 

How could she trust him not to do it again?

Even if this time was truly the last, how could she believe he wouldn’t lie again?

 

Ern nodded, as though expecting her response.

 

“It’s okay if you don’t forgive me.”

“I told you, didn’t I? From now on, I’ll be the one holding on.”

 

There was no plea for trust.
Only a promise to hold on.

No oaths, no guarantees, no contracts to reassure her.
Nothing that would sway her heart.
And yet—

 

“You’re cruel…”

 

The warmth of his presence, the feel of his hand in hers, shook the resolve she had held firm for three years.

 

“You… you know exactly how fickle the human heart can be.”

 

Epherna let out a bitter laugh inwardly.

 

She had sworn—absolutely sworn—that she would never forgive him.
Yet now, just a heartfelt apology had loosened the knot she had tied herself.

It had already come undone without her realizing it.

 

Epherna spoke from her heart.

 

“So, you thought if you said that, I’d just say, ‘Fine. I forgive you. Welcome back’?”

 

She clenched her fists tightly and trembled.

 

At this rate, she felt pathetic, as if she really might forgive him, but at the same time, she understood herself.

 

Epherna spoke with a trace of a laugh ready to burst out.

 

“You’re right. You know me well.”

 

She wanted to.

She wanted to forgive him entirely right now, cry her heart out, and fall into his arms.

 

“I want to stop here and go back to how things were. No, I want to be even happier than before.”

 

The happy life she had only dreamed of.

Marrying him, living a peaceful life together, having children, going on a honeymoon.
Perhaps such a life wasn’t as far out of reach as it once seemed.

 

But she knew she couldn’t do that—not yet.
Not here. Not now.

This was a moment where honesty and unfiltered truth had to prevail.
The stars and the night around them seemed to silently demand it.

 

“Things are different now. I want clarity, not just happiness.”

 

She still hadn’t heard it.
Not once had he said it.

Whether through lies or truth, she had never heard him say the words.

 

That he loved her.
Not as a person.
Not as a friend.
But as a man loves a woman.

 

So, he needed to prove it.
It had to be made clear.
Love isn’t a one-way street—it cannot exist as a unilateral concept.
She had felt that deeply for a very long time.

 

“Prove to me, right here and now, that you truly love me.”

 

*****

 

Prove it.

 

The moment I heard that word, I knew the time had come.

Perhaps a little earlier than I expected, and though I didn’t think it would happen like this,
I had always known it was inevitable.

 

I stopped.

The movement of our dance came to an abrupt halt.
I released my hands from her waist and her hand.

 

“…”

 

Even you couldn’t have known.
That I had been waiting for this moment for three years.
That you weren’t the only one I deceived back then.

 

There were feelings I had buried, ignoring them deliberately.
Times when I chastised myself, telling myself it was wrong to feel this way.
Back then, even meeting your gaze had been unbearable.
But now, it wasn’t something I wanted to avoid.

 

The quiet dawn breeze swept through.
The light of the rising sun began to illuminate her face.
I waited until the sun crested the horizon, and then, at last, I spoke.

 

“I love you.”

 

I felt like my face might explode.
Surely, by now, my cheeks must be beet red—or completely pale.

I couldn’t control myself.
And yet, I continued.

 

“So much. So deeply that it’s overwhelming.”

 

I had wanted to say these words.

Even three years ago when Epherna confessed to me.
Even before that.
Countless times, I had struggled to hold them back.

 

This confession, though simple words, had an immense effect.
My vision darkened momentarily, and my mind felt blank.

A surge of self-destructive thoughts swirled in and out of my head.

 

But it didn’t last long.
With a sudden rustle of fabric, two arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

Something soft pressed against my lips, and a faint floral scent, mixed with alcohol, reached my senses.

Epherna had kissed me.

 

For a brief moment, I was stunned, but then I gently wrapped my arms around her waist.

Her intentions didn’t matter— they were clear enough.

 

Epherna had forgiven me.
Not entirely, perhaps, but she had forgiven the man who had bared his soul to her, the man who had sincerely apologized and confessed.

 

 

My Empress had forgiven me.

 

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I Became the Empress’s Personal Guard

I Became the Empress’s Personal Guard

황제의 친위대가 되었다, 황녀를 키우고 도망쳤다, I Raised the Princess and Ran Away
Score 7.2
Status: Completed Type: , Author: Released: 2024 Native Language: Korean
I raised a child from an abandoned house and she turned out to be the princess of the empire.   I thought I raised her well, but she's acting strangely.

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