I do not hate myself for my time with the Astrape Special Forces.
I had to be that way back then.
War means having to kill someone.
Not just me, but everyone did.
Everyone had to bear the weight of the lives they had taken.
So, we all swore together.
Not to be tormented by unnecessary guilt.
Because that’s just deception; if you’re going to live or die, you might as well live shamelessly.
If you can’t do that, you might as well die and pay for your sins.
I swore that, but frustratingly, I couldn’t shake off my guilt.
Even though I said I would live shamelessly, I often harbored guilt.
Epherna wants to relieve me of that guilt.
“These are the achievements you’ve made.”
Epherna pulled out and showed me several sheets of paper hidden on the back of a document.
It was the list of contributions and achievements of Ern Astra, the former leader of the Astrape Special Forces.
“I had a hard time finding these because they were erased. Turns out, you’re quite the hero in the world.”
Epherna handed me the documents.
As I took them and read, every single contribution and achievement since the time I enlisted was recorded without omission.
In a slightly different form than I remembered.
“The originals only had simple facts, so I made a few edits.”
It detailed not just the missions I had undertaken, but also a list of people whose lives were saved because of those missions.
Therefore, it couldn’t possibly be written on just one page.
“When did you prepare this? I’ve been with you all the time lately.”
“You’re not monitoring my every move. I managed to work on it little by little during those times.”
“And all this amount… it’s all erased stuff.”
“I’m the First Princess. The person who was directly in charge of you was my older brother. Finding and organizing this much is something I could manage in a few days.”
“…I see.”
I thought to myself.
She must have gone through a lot of trouble.
Epherna said it was just a little effort, but recovering and verifying erased information is no easy task.
A few days? That’s an absurdly short time.
Such a volume of documents would require at least a month of meticulous preparation and effort to produce.
‘…Thank you.’
I don’t know when she decided to do this.
I don’t know how she knew the hidden feelings I had kept secret.
But does it even matter?
I’m just grateful.
If there are people I’ve hurt, there are also those I’ve saved.
So, I have the right to be called a hero.
There are people who say that.
Epherna, who is trying to prove that, is very admirable and I’m grateful.
However.
The words of thanks don’t come easily.
Strangely, it feels like if I open my mouth, tears will well up, so I can’t bring myself to say thank you.
So.
“…Mister?”
I embraced Epherna.
Not like I would a child from four years ago, but as a benefactor who acknowledged me.
This is the best way I can express my gratitude right now, given that I can’t speak.
Epherna smiled and patted my back.
“…Oh dear. I don’t know who’s the adult here.”
*****
By the end of the New Year’s festival, Epherna publicly announced the Emperor’s official document in front of many witnesses.
Many nobles were astonished by the official document recognizing Ern Astra of the Astrape Special Forces as a hero, but those who had known in advance nodded, thinking it was about time.
Of course, most of the other nobles were unable to shake off their doubts.
They didn’t even know if Ern Astra was truly a member of the shadowy organization.
But this was something they had to accept no matter how it was announced.
For Epherna, simply bringing the Emperor’s seal and stamping it was the best she could do.
Fortunately, the effect was better than expected.
Even the nobles who couldn’t accept the new hero had no choice but to accept the Emperor’s seal on the document.
Those who couldn’t remove their doubts would try to verify the facts, but that didn’t matter at all.
After all, it was all real and had happened.
Those who sought verification would come to understand who Ern Astra was the more they investigated, and naturally, they would come to recognize that his achievements were indeed real.
Since Epherna had actually aimed for this outcome, she could afford to overlook any current doubts without taking any action.
The next day.
Epherna, with a beaming face, asked me:
“How do you feel about becoming a hero?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know what’s different. How’s the outside world?”
“It’s incredibly noisy. It’s the first time in a century that a hero has emerged from the shadows.”
“Wasn’t there someone like that before? About 200 years ago, someone who was an assassin but was called a hero.”
“That person was a mercenary, not from the shadows.”
Epherna added, starting to explain.
“Your achievements, as well as those of the other members of the Astrape Special Forces and other units, are beginning to be recognized?”
“Is that allowed?”
Members of the shadowy organization were responsible for the Empire’s dirtiest deeds.
The fact that they are being recognized means that their deeds are being exposed.
Could the Second Prince permit that, even if it might tarnish the Empire’s reputation?
“It’s decided to accept it. The Empire will publicly announce and be criticized for all the dirty and unethical deeds it has done to win wars.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It’s not my decision. It was made by my older brother.”
My eyes widened.
I understood well what Epherna’s words meant, having worked under her.
“Is it to avoid having you handle the dirty work?”
“It seems so. From now on, my brother’s reputation will suffer immensely among the nobles and the public. Even though you, who worked under him, can’t escape responsibility, at least the title of hero will serve as a curtain for you.”
“So what about the other members? Will they be affected?”
“Every action has a responsible party. The representative responsible for the shadows is my brother, and since you’re now a hero, you can be considered one of the responsible parties. As a hero, most of the responsibility will fall on my brother.”
In other words, the title of hero is a double-edged sword.
Praised as much as one is, but also subject to criticism, bearing both the medicine and the poison.
“Of course, there’s still a chance to reverse it. Since it’s only been a day, I can still control whether to reveal the achievements of the shadow organization.”
Do you want that?
My answer to that was only one.
“No. Proceed as it is.”
This might be the moment I’ve wished for most.
I never hoped to be praised as a hero, having washed away all the sins I committed.
Instead, being criticized transparently, while ensuring that the people around me are not harmed, was the best scenario I had always dreamed of after leaving the special forces.
“Mister, to be honest, I didn’t like this plan.”
“…Huh? All of a sudden?”
“Anyway, it means you’re going to be criticized. I didn’t like that.”
“Ah.”
I let out a small laugh.
“It’s okay. I feel more at ease this way.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
Epherna, looking puzzled, came closer to me.
Wondering what she was up to, Epherna plopped down on my lap.
“At times like this, you seem so gullible.”
“As long as I feel good, that’s what matters.”
She draped her arm around my neck and whispered.
“You know who’s behind this, right? Even though my older brother initiated the plan, everything else was thought out and executed by me.”
“Of course. Thanks to our princess.”
“If you’re grateful, let’s go on a date.”
“…Now?”
“We’re about to be engaged, so what does it matter when we go? There’s nothing else to do. Besides, showing off our relationship isn’t a bad idea. Look over there.”
Epherna pointed to a corner of the room.
“Even though the engagement announcement was made a month ago, we’re still receiving a flood of proposals. Even though they haven’t seen my face, they send all kinds of insincere declarations of love and requests for just one chance. Most are unread and burned, but it’s annoying.”
“You’re quite popular.”
“Don’t just say that, help me out. Pretend to be my lover properly.”
“…Alright.”
I picked Epherna up and hugged her.
Normally, I would have declined out of discomfort, but today, I felt I could grant her request.
“It’s the princess’s order, so there’s nothing I can’t do. Will you go on a date with me? Epherna Grandeum?”
Perhaps it was the first time I showed this side of me.
Epherna, slightly surprised, blushed and quietly said:
“… Okay.”
“Where shall we go first?”
But she, seemingly not wanting to miss this opportunity, exclaimed with confidence.
“First, let’s go to the clothing store!”
She boldly declared and activated her teleportation magic.
