“You’re not acting like yourself, Kotaro-kun.”
I didn’t quite understand the meaning behind those words.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“Yes. It’s very strange… Kotaro Nakayama-ness wouldn’t allow you to be so down just because we’re in different classes. In fact, you should have said something like, ‘We’ll still be together after school, so it’s the same.'”
Shiho stared at me with a puzzled expression.
The Kotaro Nakayama reflected in her clear eyes still wore a gloomy expression.
“…The sound is different.”
Come to think of it, Shiho had been mentioning something like that to me more often lately.
She sensed that something was off about my “sound”.
What exactly did she mean by my “sound”?
And what is “Kotaro Nakayama-ness”?
(Huh? Am I really this clueless?)
I suddenly thought.
Shiho is an easy-to-understand girl; her thoughts and feelings are hardly ever complicated. She’s straightforward, some might say pure, others might say simple… so why?
It’s been a year since we met.
I know a lot more about her now compared to before.
And yet… I find myself unable to understand her now.
What’s going on?
Am I really losing touch with something?
“I wish I could have …… Kotaro-kun.”
Shiho looked at me, lonely.
She seemed to droop her shoulders slightly, appearing just as down as I felt.
“S-Sorry.”
I apologized instinctively.
Realizing I was trying to appease Shiho, I felt incredibly inadequate.
“I don’t need you to apologize… You’re making that face like you already know what I’m about to say.”
“Yeah. I don’t know… I just feel like something’s off about me…”
We needed to head back to class soon.
So, our conversation had to come to an end soon too.
As a result, the problem remained unresolved, merely postponed.
“For now, just calm down, okay? You’re feeling confused right now… but there’s one thing I want to tell you.”
Even though she’s feeling down too.
She gently patted my shoulder, comforting me.
“No matter what happens, I’m on your side, Kotaro-kun. I won’t ever dislike you… No, I can’t, so just make sure you understand that.”
Shiho will never abandon me.
Even back when I thought of myself as just an extra character, Shiho stayed by my side. She supported me when I was so self-deprecating and filled with self-loathing.
This time too, Shiho is on my side.
Her kindness alone is my salvation amidst all this confusion and change.
“Thank you.”
Expressing my gratitude, Shiho smiled softly.
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve helped me a lot too… It’s mutual, isn’t it? We help each other when we’re in trouble.”
I’m helping Shiho?
No, that’s not… It hardly ever happens, I feel.
If I were to think of an instance, maybe it would be during the first study camp?
Apart from that, I feel like I’m always the one receiving help from her.
…She’s probably saying that to prevent me from feeling guilty.
If that’s the case, I should accept her kindness without denying it.
That’s what I should do.
Because that’s my duty—
