No One’s Fault, So It’s Tough
In the conference room of the company where my aunt works.
Me and Kurumizawa-san were alone.
My aunt was there earlier, but she left as soon as she finished her business.
In the end, she took my phone too … which means I lost the means to contact Shiho.
That made me sad, but it also made me feel ashamed and unworthy of myself for not resisting my aunt.
An awkward period of silence ensued.
I, of course, and Kurumizawa-san, said nothing, just the two of us in silence.
Well, in her case, unlike me, she seems to want to say something.
No, to be precise, I guess she wants to chat with me…, and she was behaving so suspiciously that I could see it clearly even from the sideline…
It just looks like she can’t say anything because I’m in a very bad mood.
She started to say something, but when she saw my expressionless face, she shut down and closed her mouth. This has been repeating since a while ago.
It makes me even more miserable.
It’s not that Kurumizawa-san is a bad person. I think she’s a good girl at heart, just straight-forward in love.
That’s why it’s so hard to do.
See, she apologizes like this.
Although there is nothing wrong with Kurumizawa-san, she is trying to get into my good mood by keeping her head down.
I don’t think she is trying to flatter me.
But that kind of attitude makes my self-esteem grow. If I treat her like this for a long time, the day will come when she will mistakenly believe that I am superior to her in any situation.
Ryoma Ryuzaki was like that.
Because he was treated well, was kind, was made to feel special, and all of these things were taken for granted, he became desensitized to the girls’ affection. Without realizing it, he had become the kind of person who would trample on their feelings.
I used to hate it, but when I put myself in that position…, no, I was still sickened.
I hate myself like this.
“I understand why Nakayama feels so bad. But I can’t give up, so I’m going to make up for… that, a lot. I’m going to do my best to make you happier than you’re hurting right now. So, just give me a … chance, please.”
―How could this girl like me so much?
“Um, I don’t really want tutoring, but it’s only for a week, … and after that, I promise I won’t hurt you anymore. But for one week, will you let me monopolize Nakayama? It’s my first and last chance… I won’t let you get away with it.”
Her single-minded and pure feelings made my heart ache.
I clenched my teeth at the profound statement.
That’s why I hate it.
I’m not going to say anything bad about her. No, more to the point, neither my aunt nor my mother are the root of all evil.
They all had their own agendas and circumstances, and the result of their actions is the present.
But that is why I cannot hold a grudge against anyone.
I can only hurt myself because I cannot direct my anger at others.
That’s really, really bad.
(If only for a week, then …)
There was no way out.
So I have to tell myself that I have no choice but to accept it.
I suppose this is also a kind of opportunism.
Suddenly I found myself searching for an excuse in the back of my brain to accept Kurumizawa-san’s proposal.
(I’ve tended to depend on Shiho lately, and … that girl has the flu, and we won’t see each other for exactly a week, so maybe this is just the right opportunity.)
I’ve come to a conclusion.
If I stubbornly reject the story, it would be a good enough story, but if I … do that, the story won’t be interesting.
Kotaro Nakayama is put to the test.
Will I be able to maintain my “pure love” for only Shiho and continue to love her even while hurting others?
(TLN: YES PLEASE)
Or, will it be a “harem” in which I accept the feelings of others and love a large number of girls?
At the moment, I think the story is moving in the latter direction. If I do nothing and go with the flow, I wouldn’t be surprised if that eventually happens.
But, well, if … somewhere along the way … the story will awaken and change its course to a pure love romantic comedy, then that will be interesting.
But in any case, there was no doubt that I was going to suffer…
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