Relaxation of the Heart
Five days have passed since I started studying with Kurumizawa-san.
Today is Wednesday. I have been studying with Kurumizawa-san for about four hours a day.
I can’t say that I spent much time with her, but as she taught me … things, I think I got the ‘knack’ of learning.
“You just have to interpret it in your own words. There is no point in memorizing words from a textbook, because you will never understand them.”
After all, smart people think differently.
I used to study somehow, but thanks to Kurumizawa-san, I have changed my mindset. I put more emphasis on thinking, not just reading the words in the textbooks.
“After all, repetitive practice is the best way to learn. For physics and mathematics, I just solved problems using formulas. For other subjects, memorization is important. Look, read, write, and repeat. As long as you put in the effort, your score will go up as much as you want.”
Kurumizawa-san generously gave me guidance on how to study.
Thanks to her, I was able to solve more problems. Compared to the time when I was just looking at textbooks and pretending to study at random, I felt that I had become much smarter.
“Nakayama’s grades are bad, but you’re not that stupid. Nakayama’s concentration is good, and above all, when it comes to the ability to keep going, you’re better than most people. I wonder how you can study without feeling so bad about it… You have guts.”
When she says that, what can I say … yeah.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy.
Kurumizawa-san was looking out for me.
Even though initially I was unfaithful and had a bad attitude, she was patient with me and kept confronting me.
Because of this, by the time five days had passed, I was no longer able to develop hostility toward her.
She was too devoted to me.
“I’m glad it turned out to be a meaningful time for Nakayama.”
Today, after another study session, we had dinner together.
I was in the car with Kurumizawa-san.
It was while I was being dropped off at my house.
We were sitting side by side in the back seat when she spoke to me.
“I didn’t want to harass you. Of course, I’m not pretending that I wanted you to like me, but I also wanted the time to be meaningful to Nakayama, regardless of that.”
“Meaningful time for me?”
“Yes. Regardless of whether my feelings were rewarded or not, I wanted to give … you something. It could be knowledge. Anyway, I was also very aware that spending this time with you would be a positive experience for Nakayama, okay?”
“Is that so…”
Certainly, I feel that my awareness has changed after this study session.
This experience will help me in the future. In that sense, I thought that Kurumizawa-san’s words certainly had a great impact on me.
“You know, … regardless of who I am, I want you to cherish that experience, okay? I’m sure it will be a great help to you in the future, Nakayama.”
She smiled happily.
She was so happy that she had done something for me and that alone made her eyes water.
If I wasn’t careful, she looked like she was about to cry.
Of course, those tears were not flowing from sadness. They were drops of emotion, overflowing with joy.
“Two more days, but I’m counting on you, okay?”
I looked out the window and saw a familiar sight.
We would be arriving home soon. Just as I was getting ready to get out of the car with my bag in my arms, the car stopped.
She waved, and I raised my hand lightly.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
With that, I closed the door. I looked through the window and saw that Kurumizawa-san’s face was still smiling.
It was a smile so relaxed that I felt as if her cheeks were about to fall off. I made sure the car drove away and headed for home.
Then I stopped.
“I… why did I say ‘See you tomorrow’?”
I realized that my statement was not right.
I had hated the study session with Kurumizawa-san, but … before I knew it, I had lost those feelings.
Clearly, my heart had relaxed.
The threads of tension that had been tense for so long had snapped without me noticing.
In other words, I had given my heart to Kurumizawa-san.
Immediately, a sense of guilt began to rise in me.
The guilt towards Shiho made my heart ache.
I didn’t mean to do this.
Shiho should have been my everything.
I was never interested in any other girl.
What in the world was going on with me?
(TLN: I’m having a brain aneurysm)
You can get access to 10 Shimotsuki Chapters ahead of the Novelupdates release on my Patreon. <3