Recollection Part 12
It was after my separation from Kirari.
When I came home with mixed feelings, I found no one at home, which was unusual for those days.
Normally, Azusa or even Yuzuki would be home every day.
My childhood friend Yuzuki had been cooking for us since our parents went abroad. So on this day, too, I assumed that she was home as a matter of course.
“I’m home… anyone home?”
It was late in the evening, and the house was dark. I called out to see if anyone was home just to be sure, but no one was there.
“… Where did they go?”
I muttered to myself and turned on the living room light.
Then I found what looked like a letter on the table. Next to it was my house key, and when I realized… that it was the duplicate key I had given to Yuzuki, I hurriedly picked up the letter.
I was surprised to see the letter in my hand.
I was so nervous because I had never seen a letter like this before.
“To Kotaro-san. I have decided to stop cooking for you from today. Please accept my apology and I will pay you back for the food and other expenses you have given me later.”
But the letter didn’t say why.
I couldn’t stand still, so I decided to visit her house.
It’s not that I was worried that she wouldn’t cook for me…
I was simply surprised by Yuzuki’s sudden behavior.
It seemed to me like she was making a decision as if she was bothered by my relationship with her, and I was a little scared of it.
This was probably influenced by the Kirari incident.
I was in a strange hurry at the time.
That’s probably why I went to Yuzuki’s house without thinking.
“… Oh? Kotaro-san, what’s wrong?”
I rang the doorbell and she came immediately. Her expression was nonchalant, as if nothing had happened.
Her attitude was so normal that I was more puzzled than she was.
“N-no… I was a little freaked out because I read … the letter, so what’s up … with you all of a sudden? I’m not sure if I’ve done anything wrong, but I’d like to apologize.”
When I told her that, Yuzuki gave a small smile and shook her head.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? There is no need to apologize.”
“If that’s the case, then why did you suddenly say you wouldn’t come to my house? If you don’t want to come, that’s fine…, but if I’ve put a burden on you or something, I want you to let me apologize to you properly. Please tell me how you honestly feel.”
I didn’t understand.
I did not understand Yuzuki’s change of heart.
I wanted to know.
I wanted to find out what made her uncomfortable.
I was hurt because of it.
“…That’s the thing.”
At my words, Yuzuki’s smile instantly disappeared.
The smile she had just given me might have been an insincere smile.
My words had triggered a slightly annoyed expression on her face, and then she revealed her true feelings to me.
“I don’t like it because you don’t do anything.”
I was not expecting those words, but they pierced my heart.
Seeing me like that, Yuzuki sighed in disgust.
“Hah,… you never do anything that you have to apologize for, Kotaro,… so I don’t think it matters whether I’m there or not. We’ve been together since we were little, but we’ve only ever had the kind of relationship where we’ve never fought or argued.”
It was, after all, the same feeling of “disappointment” as Kirari.
“I wanted you to give me a lot of trouble. I wanted you to think that I would accept you even if you were selfish. …Kotaro-san, you are a person who doesn’t move much emotionally no matter what I do for you. That’s what I didn’t like about you. …I like someone who needs me more.”
The words of her intention were so clear that they cut deeply into my heart.
But let me say this.
It’s not that I was emotionally detached.
I was happy and grateful.
But I didn’t know how to express it.
Maybe that’s why Yuzuki thought I looked bored no matter what I did…
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