Not being with you is more painful than being with someone I don't like

I wonder why Shimotsuki accepted the invitation.

The members of the overnight learning program are supposed to be made up of four men and four women. Of course, Azusa, Yuzuki, and Kirari, the girls in Ryoma Ryuzaki's harem, will be with us.

And it seems that Shimotsuki has joined the rest of us.

Why did she join the group when she had said she was not good with Ryuzaki so much?

Could it be that she didn't know that she was going to be in a group with Ryuzaki?

I was so worried that I couldn't help but ask.

"Hey, did you like our overnight learning group?"

It was after school.

As usual, she came to my house and nodded her head as she ate the cake I offered her as a snack.

"Yes."

She seemed to be busy munching on the cake and was just moving her mouth without saying anything else. I felt a little impatient, since she was usually so chatty that she would explain things to me without even asking.

"Are you sure it's okay? The group that Shimotsuki belonged to also has ...... that guy, you know? Do you know that Ryuzaki will also be working as part of the same group?"

"Yes, of course."

She nodded again, and this time began to gulp down her juice.

I wondered if she didn't mind being in a group with Ryuzaki.

She is carefree and relaxed enough to enjoy a good snack.

She had always had such a hard time with Ryuzaki, but her ...... natural attitude seemed unnatural in contrast.

"Don't you hate it?"

You can't get what you want out of a roundabout question.

So I asked her frankly.

"Isn't it painful to be with Ryuzaki?"

Shimotsuki, who had finally finished his snack time, smiled and answered my question.

"No? Because it's more painful not to be with you than to be with someone I'm not fond of."

“…………”

It was a surprise.

--The pure words hit my heart.

The reason was simple.

In Shimotsuki's mind, I probably have a bigger impact than Ryuzaki.

She's become so fond of me that she can paint over the feeling of being uncomfortable with him.

I can't get used to such words of affirmation no matter how many times I hear them.

If there hadn't been someone to give me such special words, I would have felt much happier.

I feel like it's not fair.

I feel like a fool for worrying so much about it.

"Nakayama-kun, I'm sure the overnight learning program won't be fun, but ...... I'm looking forward to being with you. I hope I can make at least one memory with you. I'm so nervous that I'm going to have some weird fantasies."

--What kind of weird fantasies?

If I hear that now, I have a feeling that the relationship between Shimotsuki and I will change dramatically.

If I were the protagonist of the story, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to resist asking that question.

But I'm a mob character.

I'm not good enough for her. I have no personality, no character, and am just a symbol.

Shimotsuki is too good for such a person.

That's why I couldn't step out of my comfort zone.

"Let's make some memories......."

The words I finally managed to reply were bland and ordinary.

It was probably not the words that Shimotsuki was really looking for.

However, she is still pleased.

"Yes! I hope it will be wonderful ....... Ehehehe."

The smile on her face was a little different from her usual smile - it had a hint of color to it.

If I were to use a literary analogy, it would be ...... something like this.

It was a lovely smile, like that of a maiden in love.