Too Convenient Love
“What in the…?”
Kurumizawa-san released me sooner than I expected.
The embrace must have lasted only a few seconds. It was nice that she pulled away so quickly, but I didn’t feel so good with her fresh touch stuck to my back.
“I’m just kidding, … don’t get too mad at me, okay?”
I think it’s unfair because I feel like I’m poor at being angry when people talk to me like they’re trying to stir me up.
“… I’m not good at… this kind of thing.”
It was a weak statement on my part.
I couldn’t control it now. If I put more emotion into it, I would have said things that I didn’t need to say.
For example, “Don’t touch me so casually.”
I don’t like to use such strong words because I would definitely regret it.
It was the same just the other day. I was excessively cold to Kurumizawa-san and was tormented by regret and self-loathing afterward.
When I start to deny myself, it’s not a good thing.
I know this, so I suppress my emotions. To grip my frustration and anger, I put the meat in front of me in my mouth.
“Really, it’s delicious…”
Food is a stress reliever.
The tastier the food, the more fulfillment I felt.
Each time I chewed, my disgust and frustration were squashed.
Perhaps Kurumoizawa-san had calculated that much.
I wonder if it was my pride in my ability to control my emotions that made me more daring than usual.
“…Human beings are a mystery, aren’t they? No matter how hard things are for us, we feel refreshed after eating a good meal. Well, if we become dependent on food, we may end up overeating or even rejecting it, which is not a good thing.”
Smiling elegantly, Kurumizawa-san sat down next to me.
There are plenty of seats available, but the fact that she went out of her way to sit next to me was a bit of a surprise.
“By the way, this is a dish made with “foie gras”. The name is … I wonder… I can’t remember the name of French cuisine because it sounds like an incantation.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of it…, but I’ve never had it before.”
“It was a good experience, wasn’t it?”
Sure, it might be a good experience.
I’m not that particular about food, and I don’t go out of my way to pay a lot of money to eat this kind of food.
Therefore, I probably wouldn’t have encountered this kind of taste if I had lived a normal life.
“I don’t know the exact amount either, but it sounds pretty pricey… Well, I don’t think it hurts or bothers my father, and there’s no need for me to be reserved or concerned about it… I just want you to understand that it is my presence that is giving it to you.”
“… So you’re saying you want me to forgive you for a little hug?”
I think I understand what she is trying to say.
Looking into her eyes, reading her facial expressions, and unraveling the emotions in her words, I naturally understood Kurumizawa-san’s thoughts as well…
“That’s the way it is. Nakayama… I’m not that greedy♪”
Is it because my intentions were conveyed to her?
Kurumizawa-san was in a very good mood.
“I don’t even want to monopolize your love. I just want you to share some of that feeling … and in return, I will make you happy a lot. I’ll feed you as many delicious meals as you want, give you anything you want, and serve you in any way I can.”
The pure, clear, and straightforward feelings were … conversely, scary.
“…”
Is this really a spontaneous and ‘genuine’ feeling?
No, no.
The real thing is murkier. Various emotions are jostled, mixed, and stirred up, and that is why it is imbued with a unique color that cannot be imitated.
Like Shiho Shimotsuki, for example.
If the love was so violent that it wanted to destroy me, that it was not satisfied with mere affection, I would say it was very human.
But Kurumizawa-san’s affection was … too artificial.
Not a greedy person?
That is absurd. There is no such thing as a person who is not greedy.
Kurumizawa-san… your love is too convenient…
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