“Former” Best Friend
–In junior high school, she had no one she could call a friend.
She always kept to herself, rejecting the existence of others.
She liked to be alone in the world.
Even at school, she only read light novels and other books, and never tried to talk to anyone.
But one day, in a Japanese class at ……, I happened to become Kirari’s partner in an assignment to “read a book” recommended by your assigned partner.
That’s how we became friends.
“This is interesting, isn’t it? It’s a story about a simple boy like you who gets a lot of girls.”
“Would you like to read this one, too? Another story about an unassuming boy who goes to another world and becomes very powerful.”
“Read that one, too. It’s a romantic comedy about a plain boy and a plain girl who flirt freely with each other.”
I don’t think she really wanted a friend.
Maybe she just wanted to talk about her favorite works.
From that time on, I had no initiative and just did what I was told to do, but that seemed to be convenient for her. I was forced to read, learn, and understand various works. I would listen to Kirari’s thoughts and impressions, and sometimes I would even discuss them with her.
Thanks to her, I became more knowledgeable about the structure of stories. Perhaps because of this, I have come to perceive the real world in this way.
Kirari had a great influence on my thinking, which led me to this kind of ‘grounded’ thinking.
She was such a “special” person for me in junior high school.
She once said to me.
I will never forget it. It was the winter of my junior high school graduation ceremony.
“Thanks for being a good friend to me, Ko-kun. Thanks to you, I’ve come to think that talking to other people isn’t so bad. You are my closest friend, my best friend.”
–I was so happy.
I was uncharacteristically excited that she thought of me not only as a friend, but as her best friend.
Perhaps my feelings at the time were as close to “love” as I could get.
I liked the way she talked.
Her voice was quiet and calm, but not distinctive, and I could listen to it forever.
I also liked her hairstyle.
She wore her black hair tied up in a bun, and I appreciated it because I could recognize her from a distance just by her silhouette.
I also liked her glasses.
They were a little too big for her, and they shifted easily, so she would often adjust them with a single nudge. I remember how adorable that gesture was.
I also liked her personality.
I liked the way she was not concerned about being part of a crowd, but was very confident on her own and did not flatter others.
I also liked the way she enjoyed her hobbies.
When she was reading, Kirari was more emotional than usual. When she read each sentence, she would express her happiness or sadness, and when she finished reading all of the sentences, she would cry or laugh hysterically.
Of course, the people around her looked at her strangely, but Kirari was always herself, no matter what they thought.
I also liked her innocent atmosphere, which was in contrast to her sparkling name, Kirari, because of the gap between the two.
But she is no longer the girl I liked.
At the entrance ceremony of high school, she met Ryoma Ryuzaki and …… she killed herself.
“Ko-kun, I’m sorry, okay? I have someone I like. I’ll do anything to make him like me …… because I want to be the person he likes, even if it kills the person I’ve been.”
Perhaps this was the first time Kirari had sought out another person.
Thinking back, I was not the one she wanted.
I just happened to start talking to her, but I didn’t have any feelings of liking or disliking her, I guessed at that time.
And so Kirari changed herself.
She took Ryuzaki’s comment that he liked girls with flashy hair color seriously and dyed her beautiful black hair blonde. She changed her tone of voice to match her hair color, twisted her personality, and simply changed herself into the kind of girl that Ryuzaki would like.
Because of this, my former friend “Kirari Asakura” died.
(Kirari …… is that really that’s the way it should have been?)
Even if Ryuzaki liked the Kirari of today.
Would that really mean that Kirari is loved?
If you’re going to change yourself so much, why …… not just be Kirari? If Kirari is no longer Kirari, who in the world will you be ……?
That’s what …… I think.
Seeing Kirari who has lost herself makes me feel very sad.
For example, who will Kirari become after this romance ends without Ryuzaki loving her……?
Maybe she doesn’t even know the answer to that question…